May 2011
1 post
April 2011
1 post
Things My Driving Instructor Says to Me
Do you know any lawyers? I need legal advice.
This is a black neighbourhood, let’s drive somewhere else.
Arabs are crazy drivers; they bring their own music to play in the car.
Is there a difference between propane and natural gas?
Do you drink?
That high school has the roughest looking kids, like they haven’t showered in months.
Make an emergency stop here; I need to go...
August 2009
1 post
Reasons I Watch Porn
Lighting tips
Camera angles
Reminder to lock and arm all doors and NEVER accept unexpected pizza deliveries
Trendy hair styles
Interior decorating Ideas
Reminder to scotch-guard and disinfect all couches, chairs, counter spaces, beds, toilets, walls and carpets
Witty dialogue
In-depth story lines and plot twists
Latest patent-leather outfit trends
STD awareness
July 2009
1 post
How you know your jeans are too tight
You take 20 minutes, a bottle of baby powder and duct tape to get them on.
You can’t sit, you remain in a constant state of lean.
You develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome if you leave your hands in your pockets too long.
You get a boner every time you remove your jeans because the blood is now able to rush back into your genitals.
Your crotch region looks like a miscellaneous bowl of dwarfed...